Reclaiming Your Power

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “What’s the point? Nothing ever changes”?When we face too many disappointments or failed attempts, it’s easy to stop believing our efforts can make a difference. That mindset has a name: learned helplessness, a term coined by psychologist Martin Seligman to describe what happens when we unconsciously give up our power to influence what happens in our lives.

Over time, this way of thinking can quietly infiltrate different areas of life. We may stop trying to change things that frustrate us, convinced that “it’s not worth it” or “that’s just how it is.”

Recognising the pattern

Learned helplessness often shows up in subtle ways:

• “I’ve tried everything, and nothing works.”

• “There’s no point in speaking up.”

• “Maybe I’m just not good at this.”

The danger is that it creates a self-fulfilling loop: we stop acting, which confirms our belief that action doesn’t matter.

Becoming aware of this loop is the first step toward breaking it. When we realize that it’s not that we can’t, but that we’ve learned to believe we can’t, we open the door to new ways of thinking and acting.

The power of asking different questions

When we face repeated failures or disappointments, our instinct is often to double down, to keep doing more of the same, only harder. But real change begins when we pause and ask better questions.

Instead of “Why does this always happen to me?”, we can ask “What might I be missing here?” or “How could I approach this differently?” These questions shift our mindset from resignation to curiosity; and curiosity reactivates our sense of agency.

Blind spots and awareness

Some patterns are deeply ingrained and operate below our awareness. That’s why blind spots are so powerful: they hold the keys to change we haven’t yet seen.

Bringing those blind spots to light often requires reflection, honest feedback, or supportive conversations. When we become aware of what drives our automatic reactions, we gain the freedom to choose a different response.

From helplessness to agency

Overcoming learned helplessness isn’t about forcing ourselves to “stay positive.” It’s about rebuilding trust in our ability to influence outcomes, even in small ways.

That process can start simply:

• Notice when you tell yourself change isn’t possible.

• Reflect on why previous attempts didn’t work — and how you might try differently.

• Seek feedback or new perspectives to uncover blind spots.

Each small, conscious action helps you reestablish the connection with your own power; the ability to act, decide, and create change in your life.

Because sometimes, the shift from “Why bother?” to “How could I try differently?” is all it takes to reclaim your power.

How coaching can help

Coaching offers a safe space to explore those blind spots, question limiting beliefs, and experiment with new perspectives. Through guided reflection and intentional action, you can reconnect with your sense of agency; discovering not only that change is possible, but that you are the one who can create it.

✨ I'm Raquel, ICF certified coach and mentor dedicated to helping people build deeper self-awareness, greater mental & emotional wellbeing, and a life aligned with what truly matters.