Align your perspective, align your experience

When you walk into a new room — a meeting, a project, a relationship, a life chapter — what do you bring with you?

Judgment… or openness?

Fear… or curiosity?

Defensiveness… or a willingness to connect?

We often assume that what we experience "out there" — the people, the atmosphere, the reactions — is an objective truth. But in coaching, I’ve seen time and time again how much of what we perceive is filtered through what we carry inside.

Let me share a short story I often come back to. It’s simple, but powerful:

A traveler approached the gates of a new town.

Under a tree near the road sat an old sage.

The traveler asked, “What are the people like in this town?”

The sage replied with another question: “How were the people where you came from?”

The traveler frowned and said, “Horrible — selfish, rude, unfriendly. I’m relieved to be gone.”

The sage nodded: “You’ll find the same kind of people here.”

Later that day, another traveler arrived with the same question:

“What are the people like in this town?”

And again, the sage asked, “How were the people where you came from?”

This traveler smiled: “Kind, generous, warm-hearted. It was hard to leave.”

The sage smiled back: “You’ll find the same kind of people here.”

🌱 This little tale contains a truth that’s easy to overlook:

We often find what we expect to find.

Our mindset, our emotional state, and our internal stories shape the way we interpret what’s around us — and how we respond.

This isn’t about blaming ourselves for how we feel. It’s about becoming aware that we don’t experience the world neutrally. We see through filters. And those filters are formed by past experiences, beliefs, hopes, disappointments, and habits of thought.

How Coaching Helps

One of the most powerful roles of coaching is helping people notice their filters.

Not to judge them — but to gently become aware of them, and then choose whether they want to keep them, soften them, or let them go.

In a coaching conversation, we might explore:

• What assumptions you're carrying into a conversation or decision

• How old stories may still be shaping your present reactions

• Where your perspective might be narrowing your sense of possibility

• How to shift from reactivity to intention

We don’t always realize how much power we have to change our experience — not by changing others, but by getting to know ourselves better.

When we change what we carry inside, the outside world often feels different, too.

We find more connection. More peace. More freedom to respond rather than react.

An Invitation

Take a moment to reflect:

🧭 What are you bringing into the spaces you enter?

🧭 What story are you carrying — about yourself, others, or the world?

🧭 And how might your story be shaping your reality?

There’s no shame in discovering a filter that no longer serves you.

There’s actually freedom in it. That awareness is the first step toward change.

If this resonates with you and you'd like support in exploring what you carry — and how it's shaping your life — feel free to reach out. I’d love to walk alongside you.

Raquel

Wellbeing Coach & Mentor • Companion on the path to intentional living